My reason
by LabyrinthHearted
Summary: After the death of his beloved Sharon; Doc finds a girl.AFter he takes the soul out of her he slowly finnds himself falling for tthe young girl.
1. Quiet

**_DISCLAIMER:I do not own anny of the Host characters involved in this I did thenn welll lets just sayy Doc woulld be in my bedroom ;)_**

**_Pairing:Doc/OC_**

_Something's wrong._

_I can tell._

_I can feel it._

_Smell it._

_Taste it even._

_This peace,_

_This quietness_

_Is completely wrong_

_There should be shouting._

_There should be shoves._

_There should be __another._

_Another inhabitant in my body._

_There should be that parasite._

_That…what was her name?_

_Something to do with fire dancing…_

_Suns chasing dance! That was it._

_She…__It__ wasn't here._

_It wasn't raging for me to leave._

_To shrink back into nothingness._

_I couldn't feel it fighting._

_Fighting against the mental barrier I put up._

_.__Alone_

_For the first time since that…_

_Thing_

_Was inserted_

_I'm completely alone…_

_Well…mentally at least, I feel something. A strange presence._

_Right now I can feel…_

_Two_

_Large_

_Hands_

_Holding_

_My_

_Two_

_Smaller_

_Ones…_

_Tightly._

_And it feels nice._

_A gentle touch that I haven't felt for awhile._

_Well, to be honest, it was a touch I'd never felt. _

_This simple holding of my hands._

_It caused a reaction in my body._

_Some strange feeling._

_It was…_

_Tingling._

_Burning._

_Smoldering._

_Slow._

_Sugar sweet._

_Numbing._

_Warm._

_Calming._

_In-describable in full sentences._

"**Miss, are you awake?"**

_That voice._

_One I'd never heard before._

_Made my body react strangely once more._

_It caused._

_My_

_Heart_

_To_

_Pound_

_Loud_

_And_

_Demanding._

_I somehow managed to muster some strength._

_Not much but enough to clench my hands inside this strangers._

_I could tell that's what they wanted._

_Some sign that I was alive im guessing._

_The stranger then opened his hands and raised mine._

_I was shocked at what the stranger did._

_They…_

_Brushed_

_Their_

_Lips_

_Over_

_My_

_Knuckles._

_A tender,gentalmenly,caress of velvet on sore skin._

_At once I knew this was a man._

_A man holding my hands._

_A man talking to me._

_A man making my heart pound._

_A man kissing my sore knuckles._

_A man I wanted to _**see**_._

_I concentrated on one thing._

_One simple action that I used to easily do._

_Now, it took most of my energy to crack open my eyelids._

"**You can do it..."**

_The man encouraged._

_His hands gripped mine somewhat tighter._

_That hope in his voice…_

_It gave me a sudden strength._

_Almost like..._

_Adrenaline_

_Boiling_

_Threw _

_My_

_Veins_

_In _

_A_

_Wild_

_Fire._

_Then, finally, I pulled my eyes open._

_I blinked,takinging in the bluish light._

_A light I don't remember._

_As I laid there_

_Eyes searching and finally finding_

_Him__._

_Mainly his_

_Bright_

_Caramel_

_Colored_

_Irises._

_My heart once again began to pound._

_Also it…_

_Stuttered._

_Fluttered._

_Flip._

_Flopped._

_Spun._

_Twirled._

_Back flipped…_

_It simply went into over drive._

_The man._

_The one above me._

_The one with the caramel colored eyes._

_Smiled._

_At me._

_For me._

_Just_

_For_

_Me…_

"**Well hello there…"**

_I couldn't speak._

_I could hardly breathe._

"**I'm Doc"**

_I knew it was his nickname._

_I may be shocked._

_But I wasn't stupid._

"**Do you remember who you are miss?"**

_Didn't he know who I was?_

_I had no clue._

_No sources of a name save for Sun Dancer's._

_I went searching._

_Quickly I found…_

_Sorrow._

_Blood._

_Death._

_Pain._

_Shock._

_Fear._

_Love_

_Family…_

_Emilie Genevieve Costa._

_The image that followed seemed to be a reflection._

_The girl had…_

_Curly_

_Mocha_

_Hair._

_Wide_

_Innocent_

_Green_

_Eyes._

_Pale_

_Yet_

_Tan_

_Skin._

_An_

_Average_

_Sized_

_Mouth._

_A_

_**Virginal**_

_Curvy_

_Body._

_So, this_

_Virginal_

_Wide_

_Eyed_

_Girl._

_This…_

_Emilie_

_Genevieve_

_Costa._

_Was Me._

"_**I'm Emilie"**_


	2. Tears

**A.n: Here is the long awaited chapter one (: **

**Disclaimer: No I do not own The Host,I own a copy but I do not own any rights. If I did, and if the Characters were real, Doc would be in my bed (:**

_I was so sure of it, that name, I was so confident that I was her, this I wasn't thinking of another girl Sun Dancer had seen through this body's…no. Had seen through _**MY**_ eyes. The ones that parasite had stolen from me along with the control over my every move, my every thought (well, not really that)._

_I still wasn't used to the fact that I was alone, that I didn't have to remain silent and have only my own voice for comfort.. So, when Doc spoke up, I almost jumped._

"_wh-what?" I stammered, I felt my eyes widen. Youthful skin stretching with strong yet delicate muscles over hard bone._

_Doc chuckled at my shock, I saw what looked like a single dimple in his right cheek._

"_I said," He started, the smile lessening and the dimple disappearing from sight, "do you have any idea how old you may be?"_

_Something made me nod. Just a feeling that, along with opening my eyes, seemed like a move I hadn't been able to make in years._

_The ashen brown haired man nodded, seeming pleased that I knew my ..did I?_

_Was I aware of my age? Truthfully? Did I have any idea if I was even old enough to be considered a woman?_

_I decided_

_To_

_Go_

_Searching._

_Doc had gotten up and said he would return in a moment. Giving me time to slip_

_In_

_To_

_Nothingness…._

_There was a house .A large one, it looked like one of those Victorian ones from the seven-teen or sixteen hundreds. You know, the kind with twelve bedrooms ,were, only a couple were used._

_And were there were claw foot tubs in each bathroom._

_This one was a bright sky blue, the kind of blue that made you squint your eyes when the sun hit it just right._

_The houses lands were surrounded by a metal gate of black and gold bars, each curving and twisting into the next in intricate designs. If you inspected further, you slowly realized that the designs the curving metal made were flowers._

_Wondrous roses and lily's all made of black and gold. Their vines twisted through out the gate till it was at a large door, a gate door. Were the vines curved upwards about four feet; a height I easily towered over at five foot three._

_I seemed to know the inside of the house as well because the next thing I saw was my bedroom.(was it mine?) _

_The walls were a soft cream color, the same black vines twisting over the walls in skillful paint strokes till the reached the canopy bed against the wall._

_There, they twisted into one word alone, a single word that looked so delicate in the vines…_

_**Emilie…**_

_I noticed now that I was sitting at the vanity, the one with the metal vines outlining the mirror. I could almost feel ever soft pull and tug of my fingers through my long hair as I applied the mousse so my curls were defined._

_I knew I was beautiful, I was confident, not conceited._

_I was youthful, a bright newly eighteen._

_I was intelligent, looks were not everything._

_I made boys beg, though I never answered to their pleas._

_My unique cat like eyes went to meet the reflections as I flipped my hair away from my face and pushed my bangs to the right side. A move that would have made Rita Hayworth proud._

"_Emilie" a voice that I seemed to recognize called. With a sigh I answered._

"_Yes?"_

"_Phone for you"_

_Taking another brief moment, I looked back at my reflection, seeing the model like structure in her pose along with facial expression…_

_Eighteen. Eighteen…I was eighteen. An adult. A beautiful adult. Slowly all my memories, MY memories!, Came flooding back into me. Every second I'd lived without the parasite, every moment before I'd been captured and forced to give up my body, every hour that I kept the barrier up so the soul couldn't look deep within me._

_So it couldn't find out how Id survived for so long and hadn't been captured till that moment._

_I could hear voices not to far away; I bit my lip and sat up on the slightly stiff cot that I had been laying I listened to the conversation that Doc was having with an, older sounding, male_

"…_she remembers so much!" I hear Doc exclaim "she knows her first last and Middle name! Along with how old she is."_

_I hear a sigh and a slight shifting of feet on hard rock._

"_Doc" The voice states, his tone seeming surprisingly delighted._

"_My friend I understand your excitement…but is there another reason that you seem so overly excited?"_

_Theres a long pause,breath is all I hear along with my own racing heart.I need to know why he saved me,there must be some reason to why he chose me and not some other girl._

_Slowly,I sat up_

_,the cot growning uncomfortable after so long.I heard a few spots in my back crack,I rasied a hand to the back of my neck before tilting it to one side then the other;more pops._

_How long had I been laying here?_

_I heard a deep sigh,more shifting of feet on the stone floor."Well my friend" the other voice tells Doc "When you have a reason please do tell sure that Maggie will be happy to know her daughter died for a greater cause"_

_I heard the shifting continue,becoming softer and softer till I could no longer hear it._

_I blink a couple of times from died…_

_I was here,alive and heathly, while someone lay cold as stone,no breath and no smiles._

_They had died tring to get meback to here…_

_I looked down,innocent eyes slightly wide while I went searching again._

_Looking_

_For_

_That_

_Memorie._

_The one about death…_

_I found almost nothing linking to this place,almost nothing being a key phrase._

_What I could find were bits and pieces,like pieces of a torn photograph…_

_Screaming._

_Mine or theirs?_

_A voice;broken._

_It muttered a name.._

_Sharon…_

_Not mine,but who's?_

_Doc's face;tears running fast._

_His beloved…_

_Shaking my head I felt hot wetness in my eyes,tears that I quickly wiped away with the heel of my hand before Doc could see them._

_He'd chosen to save me instead of protecting her…_

_He had made a choice and let her fight with two others while he loaded me into the van with two female figures._

_He'd tried to save her after the gun shot rang out._

_The rest I had no clue of what happened,I was well out of it for the rest of that portion._

_I hadn't noticed that Doc had walked back in.I felt him touch my face and I looked up,a stray tear that I missed running down my cheek bone and slowly making its way to my jaw._

_Doc caught it…_

**A.N:Sorry it took so long guys,kinda been busy with shit (:**

**R&R**

**Luv,Jordie**


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